Tuesday, July 8, 2008

martha and mary


"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
- Luke 10:38-42

The Biblical story of sisters Martha and Mary has always been one of my favorites. I don't know why. I think it's because as a whole, it's very simple, yet it speaks volumes.

Sometimes I feel bad for Martha. After all, she's only trying to serve Jesus in the best way that she knows how - by being hospitable. I picture her stirring pots, sweeping dirt and setting the table with wildflowers all at the same time while Mary is sitting outside talking with Jesus. Martha impatiently peeks her head out every now and then, her temper boiling. How could Mary do this to her? And then, to add insult to injury, Jesus basically tells her to calm down when she complains.

I'd be humiliated.

But Jesus was making a point. Sure, he was honored and appreciated being invited into Martha's home...but instead of running around frantically concerning herself with numerous unimportant details, she should have been taking the time to simply enjoy his company. Not because he was anyone special, but for her own sake. Jesus wanted her to relax.

There's a time and a place for both things, working and relaxing, and sometimes it can be very difficult to find a healthy balance. On occasion, though, the two can and perhaps should be done together.

Tomorrow morning I leave for Colombia, this time with a challenge. For the next 10 days, I want to be Martha and Mary - not one or the other. Not that I've necessarily ever been more like one in particular when I go, but this time I want to be conscious of it. I want to spend this time working - serving the staff at El Camino, taking care of the children, praying for the locals and encouraging my team. But I also want to spend this time relaxing - not worrying, not concerning myself with the crap of life, just sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to whatever God wants me to hear.

We don't need to get caught up in the things of this world. We don't need to get angry or upset about our circumstances. Instead, we can choose what's better. We can be still and know that God is God, and relax. And it will not be taken away from us.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

the heart of life

How does one go about discovering what the heart of life is? How does one find meaning in a mess?

My fallibility has me stuck in a constant state of despair. Even when things are good, they're bad...under the surface, where it hurts the most.

I wonder.

Am i capable of not turning everything into a mistake? Am i capable of keeping any normal relationships with the people i love? Am i capable of meeting everyone's expectations?

I never imagined that one day i'd be experiencing things like loss and hurt and failure on a daily basis. Maybe that's what happens when you become an adult. But how would i know? I've never been here before. I don't know what the protocol is.

I'm not good at being an adult. I'm only good at being a kid.

And where is God in all of this? What does He want from me? I feel like i'm trying so hard to live my life as me, yet inevitably end up living someone else's. If that's not messed up, i don't know what is.

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good

- "The Heart Of Life" by John Mayer