entry #3: clap your hands now, all ye children
07.07.07 - 11:33 AM
Keeping an honest journal is proving to be far more challenging that i feared. After six years of leaving my introspective abilities unattended, it's like i have to now re-learn the process of getting to know who i am - what i want, what i believe, and what [the truth is].
As usual, my timing regarding self-discovery couldn't be worse.
So what is truth? It is fact, reality, verity. It is not necessarily righteousness. And therein lies my fear; In seeking truth, i may not find anything right or good. In being truthful, i may have to face my reflection and open my eyes to the lack of justice and virtuousness that i've blinded myself to for so long. But truth is truth and it cannot be changed. And if there is any truth to the Biblical theory that truth sets people free, then i simply have no choice but to do whatever it takes to find it.
I've been bound by self-ignorance and there is nothing worse than being a stranger to yourself. It will destroy you from the inside out and leave nothing but emptiness and hopelessness it its wake. In "A Whisper And A Clamor," a song that often has me wondering if my thoughts are being telepathically impanted in the minds of others, Stephen Christian of Anberlin recognizes that "For most who live and breathe, hell is never knowing who they are now."
But this song is also challenging me to find truth and strive for righteousness because without these things i am just another Christian hypocrite. For so long i wondered what these lyrics meant:
clap your hands now, all ye children
there's a clamor in your whispering tonight...
it's not the lies that you sing
but what the silence will scream
Now the interpretation seems painfully obvious. So many Christians are all about preaching and teaching. They will deliver sermon after lecture after class after interview, thinking and hoping their words are going to make a difference. And perhaps sometimes this will happen. But it is our actions that speak the loudest and have greater impact, and i believe in this song Stephen is using clapping as a metaphor for action. Enough preaching. Enough hypocrisy and unreasonable expectations. It's time to be real, to let ourselves be vulnerable not just before God but before all. It's time to love by doing and not talking.
I tend to get frustrated and bored by things that can't relate to everybody, and that is why i want to point out that this song and this recent revelation of mine can apply to many different circumstances, regardless of one's beliefs. For example, a vegan cannot become an advocate for PETA and point fingers at meateaters and then come home and kick their dog for getting into the garbage or purchase so much as a single product that's been tested on animals, even if it's just a rat, or else who would take them seriously? A human rights activist cannot deliver speeches at various conventions and college campuses, screaming pro-choice this and anti-war that, unless they're actually taking steps towards making change in the areas that concern them, right? I couldn't respect an executively stagnant preacher, so i cannot expect others to respect me unless i am exactly who i say i am.
I will learn to clap instead of speak. But for now, i will clap because it proves that i am still alive and alright.
Keeping an honest journal is proving to be far more challenging that i feared. After six years of leaving my introspective abilities unattended, it's like i have to now re-learn the process of getting to know who i am - what i want, what i believe, and what [the truth is].
As usual, my timing regarding self-discovery couldn't be worse.
So what is truth? It is fact, reality, verity. It is not necessarily righteousness. And therein lies my fear; In seeking truth, i may not find anything right or good. In being truthful, i may have to face my reflection and open my eyes to the lack of justice and virtuousness that i've blinded myself to for so long. But truth is truth and it cannot be changed. And if there is any truth to the Biblical theory that truth sets people free, then i simply have no choice but to do whatever it takes to find it.
I've been bound by self-ignorance and there is nothing worse than being a stranger to yourself. It will destroy you from the inside out and leave nothing but emptiness and hopelessness it its wake. In "A Whisper And A Clamor," a song that often has me wondering if my thoughts are being telepathically impanted in the minds of others, Stephen Christian of Anberlin recognizes that "For most who live and breathe, hell is never knowing who they are now."
But this song is also challenging me to find truth and strive for righteousness because without these things i am just another Christian hypocrite. For so long i wondered what these lyrics meant:
clap your hands now, all ye children
there's a clamor in your whispering tonight...
it's not the lies that you sing
but what the silence will scream
Now the interpretation seems painfully obvious. So many Christians are all about preaching and teaching. They will deliver sermon after lecture after class after interview, thinking and hoping their words are going to make a difference. And perhaps sometimes this will happen. But it is our actions that speak the loudest and have greater impact, and i believe in this song Stephen is using clapping as a metaphor for action. Enough preaching. Enough hypocrisy and unreasonable expectations. It's time to be real, to let ourselves be vulnerable not just before God but before all. It's time to love by doing and not talking.
I tend to get frustrated and bored by things that can't relate to everybody, and that is why i want to point out that this song and this recent revelation of mine can apply to many different circumstances, regardless of one's beliefs. For example, a vegan cannot become an advocate for PETA and point fingers at meateaters and then come home and kick their dog for getting into the garbage or purchase so much as a single product that's been tested on animals, even if it's just a rat, or else who would take them seriously? A human rights activist cannot deliver speeches at various conventions and college campuses, screaming pro-choice this and anti-war that, unless they're actually taking steps towards making change in the areas that concern them, right? I couldn't respect an executively stagnant preacher, so i cannot expect others to respect me unless i am exactly who i say i am.
I will learn to clap instead of speak. But for now, i will clap because it proves that i am still alive and alright.
posted by audrey at
1:59 PM
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