my beloved/controversial movie reviews are back

you're all wicked excited, aren't you. feel free to argue my opinions, but it won't really matter because my movie reviews are always right on.

firewall: i can't stand harrison ford. now that that's out of the way, i can give this a fair review and say that it was a pretty good movie. rather typical. while it clearly wouldn't fit into any other genre but thriller, i think netflix classifying it as a taut thriller was a bit of a stretch. paul bettany was by far the best thing about this movie, but then again, i'm biased - in my eyes, the man can do no wrong.

the greatest game ever played: simply put, shia labouf shines. this kid's career has only just begun and i admit i'm looking forward to seeing his work progress. you don't need to be a golfer to enjoy this movie (trust me, i was wary at first too, because in my opinion, watching a game of golf is like watching the grass grow). i happen to appreciate a respectable feel-good movie every now and then, and this based-on-actual events story about a hard-knock-lifer whose natural talent (not the unwanted advice from his father) helped him rise to the top and outplay the defending british champ, is one of those movies.

you and me and everyone we know: i guess i can't give this one a complete review because we only got through the first ten minutes before tossing it in the trash (the fact that we lasted that long is in itself a miracle). then it was fished out of the trash, only because without mailing it back we wouldn't be able to get another movie.

all the king's men: if all i said was "sean penn," that would be enough. the man absolutely fascinates me. but no, this genius cast goes on to include anthony hopkins, kate winslet and jude law, among others. go out and rent this movie right now. it was without a doubt one of the best i've seen all year.

my super ex-girlfriend: super retarded. and if you thought it impossible for luke wilson to be even more of a bumbling, spacey idiot than his brother...think again. are things really so bad for uma thurman that she felt the need to star in this lame-o flick? i myself haven't found a more accurate review than that of one disappointed movie watcher from florida: "complete crap. rediculous movie. poor casting. poor acting. poor writing. very crude humor. not worth your time."

lady in the water: at the risk of being assaulted - verbally, physically, or otherwise - i am going to come right out and say that i am part of a devoted m. night shyamalan audience, and all you fair-weather fans seriously need to calm down. now i'll admit, i'm still not sure about this one myself - it's either his most genius piece of work to date, or his worst (and i mean that in the nicest way possible, because even if it is his worst, i still thoroughly enjoyed it). were there some totally bizarre aspects? yes, there were. but people, come on...he wrote it as a bedtime story for his kids. there are no rules for bedtime stories. have an imagination!

little miss sunshine: ten frickin' stars and a bunch of happily wiggling toes to boot. this is one of my new favorite movies of all time. the family dynamics are hilarious, and the dark comedy deserves multiple awards. steve carrell, playing a character that totally came out of left field and to my surprise, was amazing. however...rent this movie asap, if for no other reason than to see paul dano. paul dano. that's p-a-u-l d-a-n-o. paul dano. i want to know where this actor has been all my life - probably in school, seeing as how he looks about my age. all i know is, he better start showing up in more movies.

step up: confession time: i am a sucker for cheesy dance movies involving people starkly different from one another (i.e. save the last dance, dirty dancing (the newer version), etc.). they're my guilty movie pleasure; that's all there is to it. jenna dewan's acting was not so impressive, but she's a newbie so i'll give her that - plus, heh, she can dance. that said, i will carefully say that i am looking forward to stomp the yard. :/

a scanner darkly: wow. a little weird. a little "uh, what was linklater smoking?". watching a movie where the animation has been rotoscoped with live action is slightly offputting, but once i got used to it, i loved it. imagine keanu reeves, woody harrelson and robert downey, jr., constantly high and trying to function normally on a daily basis (the scene where all three are dumbly attempting to figure out what's wrong with their broken-down car comes to mind). yeah. i knew that would pique your interest. sad ending, though.

click: actually, not as bad as i thought it would be. the dog humping the stuffed animal duck got old really fast (is it just me, or is hollywood seriously beating a dead horse with the whole dog humping thing?). and there were other random bouts of crude humor, but otherwise it was a pretty good movie, with a good message. and christopher walken...well, what can one say about christopher walken? he's the man.

talladega nights: the ballad of ricky bobby: speaking of crude humor. i don't even know what to say about this one. we watched it through to the end anyway. it's weird because i love will ferrell, and his character begs for the audience to like him, but that proved a little difficult due to everything else being so crappy. honestly, the extras were ten times better than the movie.

black dahlia: typical of scarlett johansson *yawn*...not so typical of hilary swank. that was a nice surprise. josh hartnett was good, but i wanted to slap his character for being so fickle. it irks me when a character doesn't bother to solve the whole mystery before making rash (usually romantic) decisions. some family dynamics were awfully screwy, and there is both a graphic nudie film scene and a murder scene. if you can get past those two things, it's really very good.

miami vice: can i just say that colin farrell gives me the creeps? somehow i've got this preconceived idea of him in my head as this pasty, white, walking hiv. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. moving on. i loved this movie. i can't put my finger on exactly what made me love it, i'm just a big fan of the action/suspense genre. go 80's tv.

the devil wears prada: again, i was surprised at how much i liked this one. meryl streep is the woman in hollywood. don't even bother trying to argue that; your efforts will be utterly fruitless. actually if it weren't for her, i might not have enjoyed it as much, because it really isn't so different from other movies of its kind. girl is an underdog, girl gets dream job, girl loses everything, girl finds new revelation...yeahyeahyeah. but it made me laugh.