audrey, start the revolution! (part 2) [::use extreme caution and read at your own risk::]

it's time to call a spade a spade [because the only thing i sugarcoat is food]

I think everyone who knows me is aware that I'm a Christian. I could be wrong, so if you're reading this and just found out for the first time, now you know. It may help for you to search my older blogs for one titled, "Religion? No, thanks. Here's the whole truth," a blog that outlined my core beliefs and sort of begged for a Part Two.

Well, here it is.

What you probably don't know about me is that I have some major issues with the church as a whole today. One might think I'd be a little hesitant about sharing these issues, but the fact is, life is too short for hesitation. And here in the blogging world, I believe most of us are mature adults who can handle the truth. I'm not about to pretend things aren't the way they are for the sake of saving face. I'm not about that.

I'll be forward here and say that I don't think God is very happy with the way the church is looking in general. I feel there are so many things wrong that the shame should just knock us all off our seats. But there are five key problems that I feel the need to address, whether or not anyone listens or agrees or cares. As a writer, I need to write; as an American citizen, I am obligated to practice that right, and as the person God made me, I refuse to be apathetic.

1. the religion. Going to church, reading the Bible, praying, even tithing…these things are all well and good, but they're not meant to be rituals performed mindlessly under some sort of obligation. It's not homework! If we're dragging our feet to do any of these things, then we shouldn't do them at all. How would you feel if you asked your best friend to come hang out with you, or to talk with you about something you were struggling with, and in response your best friend sighed heavily and said, "Eh…yeah, I don't know…I guess." If my best friend said that to me, I'd be like, "Forget it! Don't even bother." And Christianity works the same way. It's not a religion, it's a relationship with Christ. God wants us to want to hang out with him, to learn more about him and his love for us. If we're feeling like doing that is getting boring and ritualistic, then something is wrong. We need to take a step back and find out what's making our relationship with God so stale. To keep coming face to face with the creator of the universe with a burdened sigh and a heart so resistant, in my opinion, is grossly irreverent. If making change requires taking a few weeks off from church (gasp!), then for the love of God [literally], do it.

2. the fake. If you ever met a Christian who told you their life got easier after becoming saved, I promise you right now, they were lying. What you got was a big, fat bs sandwich. Life is not easier as a Christian; in most cases it's a thousand times harder. So what I'm wondering is why, oftentimes when I walk into church, I feel as though I'm being judged. What is up with that? I don't feel comfortable telling anyone how I'm really doing when they ask, because the truth of the matter is, no one really cares. And if I shared any of the real problems going on in my life, I fear I'd be raked over the coals for my sinful nature. And yet I know that everyone else around me is sinning and struggling through life just as I am. So why are they all trying to mask it? Why am I being treated like a leper? And if I'm feeling this way, as a fellow believer in a place full of people who are supposed to be like family to me, I can only imagine what it must be like for someone who's not a Christian. The fake is disgusting and simply must stop.

3. the ego. I am hard-pressed to find out where this aspect of Christianity comes from. We are supposed to be the last, the unselfish, the humble. In the Bible, God offers freedom, guidance, sustenance and grace to the humble. In the book of Matthew he says, "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." And three times in scripture he promises, "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." So where is this big monster of an ego coming from? Why does a Sunday morning seem more and more like a show for people to proudly show off their big fancy cars, their coordinating Banana Republic outfits, the size of their wallets and their status in the church? Why are there cliques? Why do people cling stubbornly to the same seats every week? Why are there exclusive inside circles? I don't know about anyone else, but I've graduated high school and I'm done with all that. If church is going to be the same way, then count me out.

4. the sell-out. It's so sad. Church has become all about numbers. Whether we're talking about youth or adults, the most important question seems to be, how many are in attendance? The church will starve us of the knowledge of the scripture, give a fraction of themselves during worship [and in some cases remove worship altogether!], show little to no support for the evangelical endeavors being made, and then preach to us all about how we need to raise money to build a bigger building and print up new art to make that building look pretty. It's no wonder the numbers aren't growing! Maybe if we focused on meeting all these basic needs first, then we can worry about bringing in more people. The ones we have now are suffering! And I for one am not about to invite someone to a church that is lacking in so many fundamental areas. Instead of wasting our precious time and money thinking about aesthetics, can we please do something that's going to make a difference?? When we stand before God one day and he asks us what we did with our time on earth, will we tell him, "Well, you know that church you put us in charge of? It looked freakin' sweet. I'm telling you, God, we build the biggest and best looking church anyone had ever seen!" or will we get to tell him we did things that truly mattered?

5. the [misplaced] focus. This one is touchy, but it must be said. God doesn't bring fear, but we should fear him. He doesn't bring intimidation, but he should intimidate us. He's about love and peace and forgiveness, but he's also mighty and omnipotent and all-knowing. I don't serve a wimpy God. And here I must quote the awesome words of a Seattle, WA pastor, Mark Driscoll, "There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in his hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a pride fighter with a tattoo down his leg, a sword in his hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up. I fear some are becoming more cultural than Christian, and without a big Jesus who has authority and hates sin as revealed in the Bible, we will have less and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity." Bottom line: yes, Jesus is about love, but he's also about speaking the truth in love. I'm not about to pet homosexuals on the head and tell them the way they're living is okay. It's not, and we all know it. But I'm also not about to rally against them preaching fire and brimstone until the cows come home, because I don't believe that's what Jesus was all about while he was here on earth. He spoke the truth. If something was wrong, it was wrong, and he carried no band-aids. But there was always love and forgiveness. And by the way, Jesus never hung out with the fake people. He chilled with the outcasts, the lepers, the rapists, the murderers…because he knew what mattered most.

**Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that all churches have all of these problems. I am in no way excluding myself from the aforementioned faults of Christians. I have nothing against Banana Republic. I will not apologize for my comment on homosexuality, although I will say that I did not pick on that sin for any reason other than it was the first that came to mind. I could just as easily have made an example out of polygamists. Or liars. Or people who kill for gaming consoles.

I look forward to the day that I stop attending church altogether. No, you didn't misread that. See, someday [preferably sooner rather than later] I hope to purchase a great big house (the specifics of which I won't go into detail, but I will say that there will be a bunch of people living there), and it is in the backyard of this awesome house that I hope to meet for "church." It may not even be on Sunday mornings […and the shock of religious folk everywhere could be heard around the world]. Because this will be unlike any other church service. There will be no pretty, steepled, stained-glass building, no paintings to decorate with, and no pews or colored chairs. The church, after all, is not a place, it's a body of people. And people, both those living at this big house and those from the streets who choose to join us, will use the grass as their carpet. And there will be a band that will not play sappy love songs, but incredible worship songs that will either make us dance or cry, or both. And we will not listen to one person speak every week, but there will be a group of people, each with their own style and perspective, who will bless us with their knowledge, their visions and their inspiration. And no one will wear ties unless they want to. And we will be pride fighters with tattoos down our legs, with swords in our hands, committed to making someone bleed. And we will call this a very, very good thing.