even angels fall

She captures a thought with an ache and her heart grows weary. Thoughts pass but aches linger, and she has always struggled with putting an end to things, even things that bring her pain. So she wades in the tidepools of the evening, dwelling in the stillness of each shattering moment.

If a heart had a cloud's silver lining, would it make a difference?

One thing she must not let go of; one thing alone. She clutches it in a trembling hand. It is fragile and precious, powerful and dangerous. It consumes and weighs heavy on her soul.


Oh, God, the fatigue...

This will pass.

But, Father, the aching...

This, too, will pass. Be patient and wait until morning. Then release it to the sun.


Unwilling to be strong, she gives in. In the twilight it bathes; in the dusk in breathes; in the midnight hour it rises. A solid black balloon against the canvas of a blinding, silvery moon.

In the eclipse, the first poison arrow grazes her side. She captures a thought with an ache and her heart grows weary. A single bold tear dares to fall.


My child, don't ignore the damage.

I deserve it now.

You are wrong; I paid the price. This battle is mine and i've already won.

I'm too far gone, Father. I can't even look at you.


She won't admit it, but he already knows. The tidepools are warm and the pain feels good. Thoughts pass but aches linger, and she has always struggled with putting an end to things, even things that bring her pain.

One by one the arrows fall. She is overcome. She does not stand a chance fighting this one on her own, but she'd never been one for fighting anyway. Free to resist, she fails, closing her eyes. Searing flame to flesh and earthly she is prone. While her wounds are fresh, she is overthrown.

Several hours later, she awakens to an incredible warmth that envelops her body. Is it fire? No, it is sun. The dawn of a new day.


Father, why am i still alive?

My child, I have pulled all the poison arrows from your side.

I never even put up a fight.

I was there, child. I fought for you. I wrapped my arms around you and shielded you from most of them, but you may be left with a few scars.

Why did you do that?

Because i love you.

But i feel dead inside.

This will pass.

I'm ashamed, Father.

Don't be. Remember what i told you a long time ago: Even angels fall from grace.

I really miss you.

I miss you, too. I hope you won't stay away from me now.

I won't. But what if i mess up again?

I'll be right there with you. I'll fight every battle for you. I'll intercede for you; I'll bleed for you. Nothing can ever separate you from my love.

I'm so sorry, Father.

I know, child. But you're safe now and that's all that matters.

I love you.

I love you, too, more than you'll ever be able to understand. Now come back under my wing and rest.

Okay. Goodnight, Father.

Goodnight.

_______________________________________

even angels fall

in the darkness i see you stumble

as you fumble to find the light

and sometimes you're blinded by your eyes

but i hope you don't give up without a fight

it's not easy for you to be like me

don't think that i don't understand

i bridged the distance between our existences

and suffered all when i became a man

if you are hurting

if you are learning from your mistakes

if you are yearning

for perfection to fall into place

know i love you

and i want to wrap you in my embrace

remember this

even angels fall from grace

in your sadness i saw you bleeding

saw you receding into the night

i felt your heart break and your spirit quake

but always i was right there by your side

so if you feel broken, don't lose hope in

all this faith that i have in you

you are not worthless, for you are not fatherless

and the way you are is exactly how i'll take you

if you are hurting

if you are learning from your mistakes

if you are yearning

for perfection to fall into place

know i love you

won't you let me wrap you in my embrace

and remember this

even angels fall from grace

even angels fall from grace

even angels fall from grace

even angels fall from grace

i love you, i love you, i love you

don't you dare feel small

even angels fall