"what about us?"
Last night I sat in a new church with a bunch of strangers. But it didn't feel new to me, and the strangers felt more like friends. It always amazes me how almost every church I walk into feels like "my church," and there's an instant connection, a bond with the people there simply because we all believe in God. His love for us, and our love for Him. We're brothers and sisters in Christ, and it always surprises me how much it feels that way. Before any words are spoken or any hugs are given.
There's an easy explanation for how I ended up at this church. Their young adult pastor, James, works at Starbucks with me, and for several months he'd been trying to get me to come out and meet with this group on Friday nights called the Red Letter Community, or Red for short. I was genuinely interested, but without fail, every time Friday night rolled around, something would come up. I had to work or cover someone else's shift, I had to fundraise for Colombia...and then, last night, it happened. My schedule remained clear right up until the final hour, when I realized I'd have to go alone because the person I was carpooling with couldn't make it.
Forty minutes I'd spend driving to get to this place. Forty minutes of gas gone. Forty minutes to sit there and think to myself, Am I really doing this? I'm excited, but I'm scared. Scared to meet with God. Can you imagine? Scared that I might actually have a good time and that I might actually feel God around me and I might actually fall in love all over again.
How silly.
I guess the truth is, I wanted to fall in love again. I wanted it more than anything else, more than understanding what's actually going on under the surface of my life and figuring out what's in store for me. But with love comes discipline, and accountability...and that's where the fear came rushing in. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at the foot of the cross and bawl my eyes out and feel God's arms around me, killing me and healing me. But I didn't want to see his disappointment in me.
It helps to have a clean slate right off the bat. As soon as I walked into this church, I felt a bit of weight lift off of me. Nobody there knew me or anything I'd been through; everyone was friendly but not at all intrusive. They accepted me right away.
There could only have been about fifteen to twenty people who showed up. Several small tables and chairs had been set up in front of the stage for this intimate gathering, and while I chose to sit behind them in a regular row, I appreciated the laid back approach. A tiny candle burned on top of each table and provided just enough light for us all to remain awake at the late hour, but still comfortable. Outside the thunder rolled and the rain pounded on the roof.
We started with worship. There are few things in life that move me like worship does, that fill me up to nearly overflowing with peace and joy and contentedness. It's so personal, even among a group of people...and as vulnerable as I might feel, I've never found anything else that leaves me feeling so safe and tranquil and whole. Nothing on earth compares to being wrapped up in the arms of God and feeling his love saturate every fiber and pore of your being. Nothing on earth can both exhaust and rejuvenate more than this.
James prayed, and then began his message. Line by line, he read the following passage and explained the importance of each piece:
"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10: 19-25
Amazing, isn't it? I was scared to meet with God, but He was dying to meet with me. Dying to tell me that I can come to Him no matter what I've said or done, no matter what time of day or night, no matter how I'm feeling about it. Dying to tell me that he died for that very purpose, to save me from feelings that keep me from approaching His throne. Dying to tell me that I'm forgiven. Dying to tell me not to put my trust or my hope in man or the church or any religion or establishment, but in Him alone. Dying to tell me that He loves me.
Still.
And the last part there, the part about spurring one another on toward love and good deeds...meeting together, and encouraging one another. That's the part that I could tell would stick with this group of people as a whole more than anything else, because in the very next sentence James was announcing the end of Red. Apparently, Red was started as a place for twenty-somethings to go and worship and dig into the Bible together and question things and openly discuss and argue their beliefs. Over time, there were more thirty-somethings in attendance and even a few forty-somethings, which was not the original goal of the group. Since Red wasn't meeting the purpose it was designed for, it was now being cancelled altogether.
Were it not for the storm going on outside, you could have heard a pin drop for what seemed like an eternity after this information was released. And then, another storm began. I was shocked, personally feeling as though I'd been punched in the gut even as a first-timer to the group...so I understood well when some of them finally found their voices to speak and their hurt and disappointment was made clear.
"What about us?" - While these exact words weren't necessarily spoken, it was certainly the unanimous question behind their comments. And in my heart, I was right there with them.
Once again, my frustration with the politics of the church leaves me wanting to scream. Why do we have to make everything so complicated? Why can't we just let the ship sail, and let it stop where it stops?
Plans are by far the most ridiculous aspect of life. Dreams are great. Goals are nice. But plans are just stupid. Consider the following:
"The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." - Psalm 33:10-11
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21
...Is there a point being made here? And how about this:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9
We can't always know what God's up to, but we can trust that it's good. God is good, and so anything good is of God. Sometimes we set goals for ourselves that are good, and admirable, and maybe even achievable. Sometimes we don't reach those goals, but other good things happen in the process. Are we to call that a failure?
As believers, we quite often fail to see the bigger picture, and it drives me nuts. So what if the original purpose of Red hasn't been met? Regardless of age, there are people who attend faithfully because they're getting something out of it. It's meeting a need in their lives, it's making them stronger, it's encouraging them.
It's helping them fall in love with God all over again.
How do we know this wasn't God's plan all along? Why must we end something good simply because it's not serving the audience we aimed for? And given more time, perhaps that audience would find its way in, too. What's the hurry?
What about collateral?
What will you tell them?
When will we start to see the bigger picture?
There's an easy explanation for how I ended up at this church. Their young adult pastor, James, works at Starbucks with me, and for several months he'd been trying to get me to come out and meet with this group on Friday nights called the Red Letter Community, or Red for short. I was genuinely interested, but without fail, every time Friday night rolled around, something would come up. I had to work or cover someone else's shift, I had to fundraise for Colombia...and then, last night, it happened. My schedule remained clear right up until the final hour, when I realized I'd have to go alone because the person I was carpooling with couldn't make it.
Forty minutes I'd spend driving to get to this place. Forty minutes of gas gone. Forty minutes to sit there and think to myself, Am I really doing this? I'm excited, but I'm scared. Scared to meet with God. Can you imagine? Scared that I might actually have a good time and that I might actually feel God around me and I might actually fall in love all over again.
How silly.
I guess the truth is, I wanted to fall in love again. I wanted it more than anything else, more than understanding what's actually going on under the surface of my life and figuring out what's in store for me. But with love comes discipline, and accountability...and that's where the fear came rushing in. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at the foot of the cross and bawl my eyes out and feel God's arms around me, killing me and healing me. But I didn't want to see his disappointment in me.
It helps to have a clean slate right off the bat. As soon as I walked into this church, I felt a bit of weight lift off of me. Nobody there knew me or anything I'd been through; everyone was friendly but not at all intrusive. They accepted me right away.
There could only have been about fifteen to twenty people who showed up. Several small tables and chairs had been set up in front of the stage for this intimate gathering, and while I chose to sit behind them in a regular row, I appreciated the laid back approach. A tiny candle burned on top of each table and provided just enough light for us all to remain awake at the late hour, but still comfortable. Outside the thunder rolled and the rain pounded on the roof.
We started with worship. There are few things in life that move me like worship does, that fill me up to nearly overflowing with peace and joy and contentedness. It's so personal, even among a group of people...and as vulnerable as I might feel, I've never found anything else that leaves me feeling so safe and tranquil and whole. Nothing on earth compares to being wrapped up in the arms of God and feeling his love saturate every fiber and pore of your being. Nothing on earth can both exhaust and rejuvenate more than this.
James prayed, and then began his message. Line by line, he read the following passage and explained the importance of each piece:
"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10: 19-25
Amazing, isn't it? I was scared to meet with God, but He was dying to meet with me. Dying to tell me that I can come to Him no matter what I've said or done, no matter what time of day or night, no matter how I'm feeling about it. Dying to tell me that he died for that very purpose, to save me from feelings that keep me from approaching His throne. Dying to tell me that I'm forgiven. Dying to tell me not to put my trust or my hope in man or the church or any religion or establishment, but in Him alone. Dying to tell me that He loves me.
Still.
And the last part there, the part about spurring one another on toward love and good deeds...meeting together, and encouraging one another. That's the part that I could tell would stick with this group of people as a whole more than anything else, because in the very next sentence James was announcing the end of Red. Apparently, Red was started as a place for twenty-somethings to go and worship and dig into the Bible together and question things and openly discuss and argue their beliefs. Over time, there were more thirty-somethings in attendance and even a few forty-somethings, which was not the original goal of the group. Since Red wasn't meeting the purpose it was designed for, it was now being cancelled altogether.
Were it not for the storm going on outside, you could have heard a pin drop for what seemed like an eternity after this information was released. And then, another storm began. I was shocked, personally feeling as though I'd been punched in the gut even as a first-timer to the group...so I understood well when some of them finally found their voices to speak and their hurt and disappointment was made clear.
"What about us?" - While these exact words weren't necessarily spoken, it was certainly the unanimous question behind their comments. And in my heart, I was right there with them.
Once again, my frustration with the politics of the church leaves me wanting to scream. Why do we have to make everything so complicated? Why can't we just let the ship sail, and let it stop where it stops?
Plans are by far the most ridiculous aspect of life. Dreams are great. Goals are nice. But plans are just stupid. Consider the following:
"The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." - Psalm 33:10-11
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21
...Is there a point being made here? And how about this:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9
We can't always know what God's up to, but we can trust that it's good. God is good, and so anything good is of God. Sometimes we set goals for ourselves that are good, and admirable, and maybe even achievable. Sometimes we don't reach those goals, but other good things happen in the process. Are we to call that a failure?
As believers, we quite often fail to see the bigger picture, and it drives me nuts. So what if the original purpose of Red hasn't been met? Regardless of age, there are people who attend faithfully because they're getting something out of it. It's meeting a need in their lives, it's making them stronger, it's encouraging them.
It's helping them fall in love with God all over again.
How do we know this wasn't God's plan all along? Why must we end something good simply because it's not serving the audience we aimed for? And given more time, perhaps that audience would find its way in, too. What's the hurry?
What about collateral?
What will you tell them?
When will we start to see the bigger picture?
posted by audrey at
12:18 AM
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