i never said that i was brave

the storm clouds in her eyes linger and i am afraid that soon they will remain permanent. she is lost out there, caught between what is real and just a dream. i can see that it is getting more and more difficult with each passing day to distinguish the two, or even remember which of them she is currently living in. i guess that would explain the numbness. the denial. the apathy. defense mechanisms clearly formed for survival.

claustrophobia sets its claws in with a death grip, choking her by the neck. she will save the bruises as a reminder, lest she forget. i can't say that i blame her. it's her own fault anyway; she chose this. now she must live with it.

wait...i don't really mean that. please forgive me. i'm starting to numb myself as well because the pain is too much. i can't just stand around and watch her waste away. and yet, there's nothing i can do. it is her choice, after all. but it isn't right. it isn't fair. she's just a girl.

"wait here for me," she said, with a smile reserved for funerals.